i am constantly determined to go out and be with the people i like and care about but it takes so much personal amping up for me to be emotionally prepared to be out, “on”, and social
and like sometimes the amping up itself is so exhausting i just give up and feel terrible about myself and stay in bed all night
it’s particularly difficult now with all the stress i’m under
WHY CAN’T BEING WITH PEOPLE BE EASY
edit: it’s doubly hard when the majority of my friends are neurotypical and not at all sympathetic to issues like anxiety or depression (“oh, you’re just nervous! oh, so you’re just sad? let’s just get drunk lolol”)
This is my biggest problem right now. I just came back to my hometown and I’ve been wanting to see my friends ever since…It’s been more than two weeks now and I can’t even get myself to text/call to tell them I’m here let alone actually meet up with them…
ugh! staying in touch with people/being with them is too hard.